Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Remember...

I remember when Java first came out surfing the Internet on my 28k dial-up connection and hitting a page with a Java applet; either Netscape would come crashing down or my computer would lock up...

I remember schoolmates telling me Java was "the future" because it ran on a virtual machine which meant it was cross platform, and then being ostracized by them when I pointed out that QBasic would be considered cross platform, too...

I remember reading Java programming books before I understood OOP and wondering why I had to write a hundred lines of code just to output "Hello World"...

I remember reading Java programming books after I understood OOP and still wondering why I had to write a hundred lines of code just to output "Hello World"...

I remember trying to convince myself every time I started Eclipse and watched my P4 run slower than a 486 that I just hadn't given Java a fair shake and I needed to embrace it with an open heart and mind...

I remember working a contract-gig on a government funded Java web-based application and trudging through spaghetti code they claimed was design patterns and infinity-tier architecture they claimed was best practices...

I remember learning unsigned integers are for losers, and Java is a programming language for winners; no one will ever need an unsigned 64-bit integer anyway...

I remember reading licensing clauses that prohibit using Java to build critical software to monitor things like nuclear reactors...

I remember seeing the "Life is too short for Java" t-shirt and feeling I was a horrible person because I sympathized with it...

I remember refusing to apply for a Java programming job, much to my parents' dismay and lecturing because I was unemployed, and instead starting my first business venture, writing my first book, and landing a full-time job using a language I enjoy...

I remember Sun's only way of making a profit off Java was suing business partners they had previously licensed its use to...

With such sweet memories, what I don't remember is: why do I hate Java?