Skip to main content

I Remember...

I remember when Java first came out surfing the Internet on my 28k dial-up connection and hitting a page with a Java applet; either Netscape would come crashing down or my computer would lock up...

I remember schoolmates telling me Java was "the future" because it ran on a virtual machine which meant it was cross platform, and then being ostracized by them when I pointed out that QBasic would be considered cross platform, too...

I remember reading Java programming books before I understood OOP and wondering why I had to write a hundred lines of code just to output "Hello World"...

I remember reading Java programming books after I understood OOP and still wondering why I had to write a hundred lines of code just to output "Hello World"...

I remember trying to convince myself every time I started Eclipse and watched my P4 run slower than a 486 that I just hadn't given Java a fair shake and I needed to embrace it with an open heart and mind...

I remember working a contract-gig on a government funded Java web-based application and trudging through spaghetti code they claimed was design patterns and infinity-tier architecture they claimed was best practices...

I remember learning unsigned integers are for losers, and Java is a programming language for winners; no one will ever need an unsigned 64-bit integer anyway...

I remember reading licensing clauses that prohibit using Java to build critical software to monitor things like nuclear reactors...

I remember seeing the "Life is too short for Java" t-shirt and feeling I was a horrible person because I sympathized with it...

I remember refusing to apply for a Java programming job, much to my parents' dismay and lecturing because I was unemployed, and instead starting my first business venture, writing my first book, and landing a full-time job using a language I enjoy...

I remember Sun's only way of making a profit off Java was suing business partners they had previously licensed its use to...

With such sweet memories, what I don't remember is: why do I hate Java?
Labels:

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Speaking of Hello World.............
    ---------------------------------------------


    public class HelloWorld
    {
    private String [] hWArray =
    {"bonjour tout les monde","Hello World","Hallo Welt","Herro Word"};
    private String desLanguage;
    private String [] country =
    {"French","English","German","Engrish"};


    public HelloWorld(String desLanguageValue)
    {
    desLanguage = desLanguageValue;
    }

    public String toString()
    {

    if (desLanguage.equals(country[0]))
    return hWArray [0];
    else if (desLanguage.equals(country[1]))
    return hWArray [1];
    else if (desLanguage.equals(country[2]))
    return hWArray [2];
    else if (desLanguage.equals(country[3]))
    return hWArray [3];
    else
    return "OMFG";


    }
    }
    public class HelloWorldConstructor
    {
    private HelloWorld theHelloWorld;
    public HelloWorldConstructor(String desLang)
    {
    theHelloWorld = new HelloWorld(desLang);
    }
    public String toString()
    {
    return theHelloWorld.toString();
    }
    }
    public class HelloWorldMain
    {
    public static void main(String [] args)
    {
    try
    {
    HelloWorldConstructor tHWC = new HelloWorldConstructor(args [0]);
    System.out.println(tHWC);
    }
    catch(ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException e)
    {
    System.out.println("SYSTEMFAIL");
    }

    }
    }

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Composing Music with PHP

I’m not an expert on probability theory, artificial intelligence, and machine learning. And even my Music 201 class from years ago has been long forgotten. But if you’ll indulge me for the next 10 minutes, I think you’ll find that even just a little knowledge can yield impressive results if creatively woven together. I’d like to share with you how to teach PHP to compose music. Here’s an example: You’re looking at a melody generated by PHP. It’s not the most memorable, but it’s not unpleasant either. And surprisingly, the code to generate such sequences is rather brief. So what’s going on? The script calculates a probability map of melodic intervals and applies a Markov process to generate a new sequence. In friendlier terms, musical data is analyzed by a script to learn which intervals make up pleasing melodies. It then creates a new composition by selecting pitches based on the possibilities it’s observed. . Standing on Shoulders Composition doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Bach wa
7 comments
Read more

Learning Prolog

I'm not quite sure exactly I was searching for, but somehow I serendipitously stumbled upon the site learnprolognow.org a few months ago. It's the home for an introductory Prolog programming course. Logic programming offers an interesting way to think about your problems; I've been doing so much procedural and object-oriented programming in the past decade that it really took effort to think at a higher level! I found the most interesting features to be definite clause grammars (DCG), and unification. Difference lists are very powerful and Prolog's DCG syntax makes it easy to work with them. Specifying a grammar such as: s(s(NP,VP)) --> np(NP,X,Y,subject), vp(VP,X,Y). np(np(DET,NBAR,PP),X,Y,_) --> det(DET,X), nbar(NBAR,X,Y), pp(PP). np(np(DET,NBAR),X,Y,_) --> det(DET,X), nbar(NBAR,X,Y). np(np(PRO),X,Y,Z) --> pro(PRO,X,Y,Z). vp(vp(V),X,Y) --> v(V,X,Y). vp(vp(V,NP),X,Y) --> v(V,X,Y), np(NP,_,_,object). nbar(nbar(JP),X,3) --> jp(JP,X). pp(pp(PREP,N
22 comments
Read more

What's Wrong with OOP

Proponents of Object Oriented Programming feel the paradigm yields code that is better organized, easier to understand and maintain, and reusable. They view procedural programming code as unwieldy spaghetti and embrace OO-centric design patterns as the "right way" to do things. They argue objects are easier to grasp because they model how we view the world. If the popularity of languages like Java and C# is any indication, they may be right. But after almost 20 years of OOP in the mainstream, there's still a large portion of programmers who resist it. If objects truly model the way people think of things in the real world, then why do people have a hard time understanding and working in OOP? I suspect the problem might be the focus on objects instead of actions. If I may quote from Steve Yegge's Execution in the Kingdom of Nouns : Verbs in Javaland are responsible for all the work, but as they are held in contempt by all, no Verb is ever permitted to wander about
9 comments
Read more